I kind of missed the deadline I set for writing this post. By nearly a week.
My situation is still the same. I’ve spent a few days this week looking for a placement; I’ve looked at the theatres in Glasgow which may have something on – and even the ones that haven’t – I’ve looked at individual artists that are associated with these theatres and with the course, and I’ve also emailed a couple of places again just in case. I still haven’t heard anything.
In the space between emailing these people and writing this post, I’ve done a lot of thinking.
I’ve thought about placement.
I’ve thought about an intensive placement.
I’ve thought about getting a placement.
I’ve thought about all of the people I’ve researched.
I’ve thought about all of the emails I’ve sent.
I’ve thought about the mistakes in those emails.
I’ve thought about the two people who have responded.
I’ve thought about how neither of them can take me on.
I’ve thought about never getting a placement at all.
I’ve thought about doing all of the assessments next trimester.
I’ve thought about working over summer.
I’ve thought about deferring to next year.
I’ve thought about personal mitigating circumstances.
I’ve thought about credits.
I’ve thought about failing.
I’ve thought about getting stuck.
I’ve thought about just doing what I can.
I’ve thought about things to do in the meantime.
I’ve thought about finding solutions.
I’ve thought that I’ve not done much.
I’ve thought that I’ve done all I could.
I’ve thought about being unsuccessful.
I’ve thought about time.
I’ve thought about a lack of time.
I’ve thought about time running out.
I’ve thought about working by myself.
I’ve thought about independence.
I’ve thought about being fully independent for the first time.
I’ve felt alone.
I’ve felt grief.
I’ve felt stressed.
I’ve felt sad.
I’ve felt unsuccessful.
I’ve felt hopeful.
I’ve felt hopeless.
I’ve felt scared.
I’ve felt frustrated.
I’ve felt annoyed.
I’ve felt annoyed at my inbox.
I’ve felt annoyed at my outbox.
I’ve felt annoyed at myself.
I’ve felt that there’s too much going on.
I’ve felt at a loss.
I’ve felt like more has been expected of me.
I’ve felt disappointed.
I’ve felt like a disappointment.
I’ve felt self-conscious.
I’ve felt like I failed before I started.
I’ve felt like this is all useless.
I feel useless.
I feel stagnant.
I’ve thought about placement.
I’ve looked up people in Glasgow.
I’ve sent emails.
I’ve received few responses.
I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.
I don’t know what else I can do.
I don’t know who else to contact.
I don’t want to fail.
